At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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