no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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