I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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