Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize