Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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