I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
