I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
