There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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