I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
