I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
the liver wants what the liver wants
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
