She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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