i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
