I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
