i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
