Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
