They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize