Farmville is her only friend.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
