how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
