Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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