That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
