Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
