Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
