He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
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