What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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