you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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