Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
