Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
