that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
