True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
