im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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