She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
