we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
