I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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