Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
