Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
