so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
