So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize