Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
