So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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