she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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