that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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