i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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