Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
