I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
