Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The adults are the big ones right?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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