She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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