That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize