Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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