he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize