I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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