Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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