Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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