i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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