East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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