i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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