Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
