yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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