You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
a search helicopter?!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need water and some morals
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
