we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
