his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
