New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
