The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
