don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
