Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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