And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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