So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
