i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
