Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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