this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
