she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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