i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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