Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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